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Who Moved My Cheese?

Who Moved My Cheese?

One of my favorite books is “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson. (If you don’t like to read, there’s a great 10-minute video you can watch here.) The story is about two mice and two humans who live in a maze. Cheese represents whatever it...
What is Important vs. What is Urgent

What is Important vs. What is Urgent

We can get in trouble in our lives when we mistake what is important for what is urgent. What is Important? What is important has to do with your values. Values are like the guiding map that directs your actions and behaviors. Values have to do with what is most...
Why You Shouldn’t Count the (Sunk) Costs

Why You Shouldn’t Count the (Sunk) Costs

Before you made a decision growing up, your parents probably told you to count the costs. Usually this is good advice, unless the costs are sunk. What is a Sunk Cost? When we make a decision, we often consider resources (e.g., time, effort, money) that we have already...
When to Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger

When to Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger

We’ve all heard the old adage, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Usually this is good advice. It’s important for couples to deal with their issues, and not let their anger fester. Like a wound, it’s good to clean the anger out, even if it feels painful at the...
How to Listen to Yourself

How to Listen to Yourself

One of our biggest struggles in the world today is the struggle to listen well. I don’t just mean listening to another person, like your spouse or child, although listening is incredibly important for a successful relationship. Today I want to talk about how to listen...
Soften for the Sake of the Relationship

Soften for the Sake of the Relationship

Couples have a difficult time dealing with disagreement and conflict. Think about your own relationship. What happens when you disagree about something? Are you able to listen to one another, empathize, understand the other person’s perspective, and work toward a...
What is the Difference Between Values and Goals?

What is the Difference Between Values and Goals?

If you flip through the self-help section of the bookstore, you will see several books focused on setting goals and achieving them. How can we set effective goals? How can we make consistent progress toward our goals? Goals, goals, goals. Goals Can Be Tricky Goals...
What’s at Risk?

What’s at Risk?

Have you ever been in a situation where you really wanted to make a change, but couldn’t seem to do it? This can be very frustrating. It seems like the motivation to make the change is there, but there is something under the surface that holds you back. What’s at...
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