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The Anticipating is Worse Than the Doing

The Anticipating is Worse Than the Doing

Often in life, we struggle with anticipatory anxiety. This is anxiety about something that hasn’t happened yet—but might happen in the future. The tough thing about anticipatory anxiety is you can’t really do anything to resolve the problem, because you haven’t taken...
How to Use the Enneagram for Personal Growth

How to Use the Enneagram for Personal Growth

One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is how to use the Enneagram as a tool in counseling, coaching, and personal growth. It has been incredibly helpful in my own work, and I’d like to lay out a model for how the Enneagram can be integrated into any...
All We Need is Just a Little Patience…

All We Need is Just a Little Patience…

A few years ago (before all our travel was shut down), I was flying back from a work trip in Washington DC to Dallas in the evening. We landed about twenty minutes late, and started to taxi back to the gate. Travel Problems That’s when the problems started. First, the...
The Problem with Purity

The Problem with Purity

I recently read an interesting book by Richard Beck called “Unclean.” In the book, he explores how Christians focus a lot on purity. He also says this focus on purity might be a problem. The Problem with Purity The main idea is that when Christians focus...
Tell the Kind Truth

Tell the Kind Truth

It can be hard to give negative feedback effectively. I think part of the difficulty has to do with our discomfort with difficult feelings and emotions. We don’t like feeling uncomfortable, and we don’t like it when other people feel uncomfortable either. So, we try...
Do You Want Help or Feedback?

Do You Want Help or Feedback?

There’s a simple question I have started to ask people in my life, and it’s been very helpful for my relationships. Here’s the question: Do you want help or feedback? The Fixer In life, my tendency is to be a fixer. It’s just how I’m wired. When someone tells me about...
When You’re Feeling Stuck, Take Your Time

When You’re Feeling Stuck, Take Your Time

Author Scott Peck tells an interesting story about a time he was taking a walk in his neighborhood and observed his neighbor fixing his lawn mower. Scott was impressed, because he had always struggled to do anything mechanical. Scott told his neighbor how impressed he...
How to Find the Want Underneath Your Problem

How to Find the Want Underneath Your Problem

Author Jim Dethmer writes that any issue we are dealing with in our life actually reflects a want. And all of our issues and wants boil down to three core wants—(1) security, (2) approval, and (3) control. Security Security is the most basic want, because it has to do...
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