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3 Ways to Turn Off Your Autopilot

3 Ways to Turn Off Your Autopilot

A lot of times in my life, I’m on autopilot. I’m so used to a routine, I go through the motions without even thinking about it. The conscious part of my brain is turned off, and my autopilot is online. I’m going through life, but I’m not aware or mindful of what I’m...
4 Steps for Dealing with Anger

4 Steps for Dealing with Anger

Often in our culture today, we think of anger as a negative emotion. We think about anger as something we need to do away with. If we get too angry, it can be scary. We might have to go to anger management classes. So many of us push down our anger and stuff it, not...
Feedback, Feedback, Feedback

Feedback, Feedback, Feedback

This post is Part 5 in a 12-part blog series on humility and growth. (If you missed the first post, you can find it here.) I don’t like receiving feedback about what I’m doing wrong. It’s uncomfortable and doesn’t feel very good. I still remember one time, I got the...
3 Lessons from John Gottman and the 5:1 Rule

3 Lessons from John Gottman and the 5:1 Rule

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I want to talk to you about a simple rule that can help you have a better marriage or dating relationship. But before I tell you the rule, I want to share a bit about how it came about. John Gottman and the Love Lab A professor named...
When Struggling, Shift From Negative to Realistic

When Struggling, Shift From Negative to Realistic

Nowadays, people are really focused on thinking positively. We’re encouraged to practice gratitude, be optimistic, and shift our negative thinking to positive thinking. We are told that if you just think positively, positive things will happen to you. Ignore the...
What Can We Learn From Negative Emotions?

What Can We Learn From Negative Emotions?

Usually when people come to counseling, they are in emotional distress. If you are struggling, you might be in that place right now. Maybe you feel depressed, down, and sad. Or perhaps you feel anxious, uptight, and nervous. You want relief from the unpleasant...
The Trouble With Feedback

The Trouble With Feedback

Getting feedback from others can be helpful, but sometimes it can take you off course and stop you from pursuing your mission and purpose in life. This can happen irrespective of whether the feedback is positive or negative. I remember listening to a Palm Sunday...
6 Steps to Respond to Criticism

6 Steps to Respond to Criticism

Responding to criticism is difficult. The other day I received an email letting me know that a paper I had submitted was rejected. The editor and reviewers had a lot of feedback about all the problems and issues with the paper. At first, I was mad. I had spent a lot...
Check Your Reinforcement Schedule

Check Your Reinforcement Schedule

This post is Part 1 in a 2-part blog series on reinforcement and change. The spring fundraising campaign on NPR is finally over! For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, for two weeks each spring, the public radio station does a fundraising drive....
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