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How to Use Perfectionism to Combat Perfectionism

How to Use Perfectionism to Combat Perfectionism

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with perfectionism. I still remember when I was in 3rdgrade, I got one question wrong on my spelling test. I couldn’t deal with it. For some reason, getting 19/20 was so painful and humiliating. I started to cry, and had...
The Yerkes-Dodson Law and Its Application to Life

The Yerkes-Dodson Law and Its Application to Life

One of the first things I learned in my introduction to psychology class in college was the Yerkes-Dodson Law. The Yerkes-Dodson Law has to do with the relationship between arousal and performance. The relationship looked like an upside-down U-shaped curve. Higher...
Take a Break

Take a Break

I want to talk to you today about a simple intervention that can save you a ton of headaches and increase your productivity and happiness: Take a break. Anger and Frustration Sometimes my work can be frustrating. I spend a lot of my time writing, and it can be...
Find the Problem You Can Solve

Find the Problem You Can Solve

Most people shy away from problems. They don’t like them, so they try to avoid them. This is natural—we all have a tendency to avoid pain and discomfort when possible. However, if you want to be successful in life, you have to counteract this natural tendency to avoid...
6 Steps to Transform Your Life

6 Steps to Transform Your Life

One of the things I’m most passionate about in life is transformation. I love to see people tackle their problems and make huge changes in their life. That’s why I became a psychologist in the first place. I love to help people reach their goals, whether it is a...
Understanding the 6 Core Needs: Why We Do What We Do

Understanding the 6 Core Needs: Why We Do What We Do

Why do you do the things you do? For most of us, we aren’t sure. Day to day, we pretty much do our thing and go through the motions. We might have certain goals, like to get married or make a lot of money. But most of us haven’t done an in-depth analysis of what we...
Are People Who Live in California Happier?

Are People Who Live in California Happier?

Not too long ago, I took a weekend trip to Los Angeles, California to give a talk at a conference. The day I left California, it was 70 degrees. The sun was shining, and everything seemed right with the world. When I got back to Dallas, the temperature was in the 30s....
3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

Sometimes I get frustrated when my needs aren’t met in a relationship. “What’s wrong?” I ask myself. “Why doesn’t my partner understand what I need?” “If she really loved me, she would do [fill in the blank].” If you are anything like me, maybe you have struggled with...
3 Reasons to Separate Facts and Story

3 Reasons to Separate Facts and Story

I want to talk to you about a simple exercise that can help improve the clarity of your communication and the health of your relationships. The exercise involves separating (1) the facts of the situation from (2) the story you make up about the situation. Facts The...
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