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Why Do Bad Things Happen?

Why Do Bad Things Happen?

When something bad happens, we might wonder what we did wrong to deserve the difficult circumstance. If faith is important to us, we might bring God into the conversation. If good things happen and our life is going well, we think God is happy with us. If bad things...
Everything Can Be Fixed

Everything Can Be Fixed

I used to get really anxious when something would go wrong in my life. I lived in “protection-mode.” I always worried about losing something, doing something wrong, or saying the wrong thing. Then I would beat myself up when I made a mistake (which we all do)....
FINE? Feelings Inside Not Expressed

FINE? Feelings Inside Not Expressed

I got together with a friend not too long ago who was struggling. I knew he was having a tough time, but when I asked how he was doing, he just replied, “Fine.” I’m always a little wary when I hear someone say they’re fine. What does fine mean, anyways? FINE: Feelings...
Do You Want Help or Feedback?

Do You Want Help or Feedback?

There’s a simple question I have started to ask people in my life, and it’s been very helpful for my relationships. Here’s the question: Do you want help or feedback? The Fixer In life, my tendency is to be a fixer. It’s just how I’m wired. When someone tells me about...
Don’t Put Off Asking for Help

Don’t Put Off Asking for Help

My shoulder has been bothering me when I work out, so I scheduled an appointment to see a physical therapist. Here’s the problem: My shoulder has been bothering me for a while now—probably 2-3 months. But I just now booked an appointment to get some help. What’s the...
When You’re Feeling Stuck, Take Your Time

When You’re Feeling Stuck, Take Your Time

Author Scott Peck tells an interesting story about a time he was taking a walk in his neighborhood and observed his neighbor fixing his lawn mower. Scott was impressed, because he had always struggled to do anything mechanical. Scott told his neighbor how impressed he...
6 Steps to Transform Your Life

6 Steps to Transform Your Life

One of the things I’m most passionate about in life is transformation. I love to see people tackle their problems and make huge changes in their life. That’s why I became a psychologist in the first place. I love to help people reach their goals, whether it is a...
How to Wake Up Without Hitting the Snooze Button

How to Wake Up Without Hitting the Snooze Button

I used to have a bad habit of hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock. For 20-30 minutes in the morning, I would toss and turn in bed, getting interrupted every 5 minutes by my alarm. It wasn’t a great way to wake up. Interrupted Sleep I heard a perspective about...
Keep Your Priorities Front, Center, and Simple

Keep Your Priorities Front, Center, and Simple

The other day, a colleague asked me if I would be willing to take the lead on part of a research project he was organizing. I felt conflicted. It seemed like a cool project, and it would probably result in a strong publication. On the other hand, the project wasn’t...
Be On the Lookout for People in Need

Be On the Lookout for People in Need

The other day, I was spending a lot of time on my iPhone—checking email, posting on social media, and reading articles on ESPN. There’s nothing wrong with those activities per se, but they are all self-focused. When I’m on my iPhone, I’m not engaged with others or...
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