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Give People Space for their Own Journey

Give People Space for their Own Journey

It’s important to give people space for their own journey. So often we want to push people to see things from our perspective. But this strategy doesn’t usually work. Religion and Sexuality Here’s an example that happened in my own life: One issue I...
If You Want to Build Something, Resist Revenge

If You Want to Build Something, Resist Revenge

I’ve been watching the final season of Game of Thrones, and the last episode was crazy. Daenerys Targaryen, driven by revenge, destroys the entire city of King’s Landing with her fire-breathing dragon. Not just Cersei and her army, mind you, but women and children...
The Return of the Prodigal Son: Where is Our Focus?

The Return of the Prodigal Son: Where is Our Focus?

One of my favorite books is “The Return of the Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen. In the book, Nouwen discusses the parable of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), and he also walks the reader through his reflections on the painting, “The Return of the...
3 Key Lessons from the Samurai

3 Key Lessons from the Samurai

One of my favorite films is The Last Samurai, which tells the story of a great war between (1) the Samurai, the ancient guardians of the empire of Japan and (2) a New Order that was trying to change the course of the country. The Samurai were great warriors that...
Why Grace and Acceptance is Our Greatest Need

Why Grace and Acceptance is Our Greatest Need

A few years ago, I spent the Labor Day weekend in Holland, Michigan, connecting with some good friends from graduate school. Holland is a beautiful small town in Western Michigan. We caught up, ate great food, hiked the sand dunes, and swam in Lake Michigan. The...
8 Keys to Emotionally Healthy Faith

8 Keys to Emotionally Healthy Faith

I’m a big believer that you can’t have spiritual health without emotional health. Part of this conviction has to do with my background. I’m a Christian, and I’m also a psychologist. The way of Jesus is the key framework that orients my life and values. I also view...
How to Enjoy the Process AND the Outcome

How to Enjoy the Process AND the Outcome

In life, it is important to enjoy the process, not just focus on the outcome. This is something I struggle with a lot. At work, I’m often focused on outcome. “Let’s get this paper published ASAP!” “What’s your plan for defending your dissertation and graduating?”...
How to Navigate the “3-Lane” Highway of Life

How to Navigate the “3-Lane” Highway of Life

We have all heard the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Being able to differentiate between the things that are up to us and the things that...
Do We Get “3 Free Sins”?

Do We Get “3 Free Sins”?

I finished reading an interesting book called “3 Free Sins” by Steve Brown, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts about it. The basic idea of the book is that Christians are usually focused on “getting better.” We get obsessive about not...
Why I Read Fiction

Why I Read Fiction

This past week, I picked up the John Le Carre spy novel, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.” It’s a thick book, and it will take me quite a while to read it. Reading the book probably won’t teach me something important that will contribute to my...