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Life is Negotiation: Drop the Fear

Life is Negotiation: Drop the Fear

Sometimes in my life, I shy away from negotiation. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like to make the other person feel bad. Sometimes I don’t even know what I want or what my position is. Here’s the problem: When I shy away from negotiation, I don’t get my...
When Adversity Hits, Staying Calm is a Superpower

When Adversity Hits, Staying Calm is a Superpower

I recently saw the movie Vice, which chronicles the political life of former Vice President Dick Cheney. What struck me the most about the film was Cheney’s ability to remain remarkably calm in the face of adversity. Heart Attack One scene stood out to me. Cheney is...
When in Doubt, Reach Out

When in Doubt, Reach Out

My wife and I had another couple over for dinner not too long ago, and we had a great time. It was someone I had met at church. I didn’t know them very well. But we had a good conversation at church, and I thought they might have “friend potential.” So, I reached out...
The Year of Yes

The Year of Yes

I have been realizing lately in my life that I say “No” more often than I say “Yes.” Fear and Protection I think my tendency to say no has a lot to do with fear. I want to protect myself. I want to stay safe. I don’t want to get hurt. Although...
How to Wait Well: 4 Suggestions

How to Wait Well: 4 Suggestions

It’s hard to wait well. I was reminded of this the other day. My wife and I went to a restaurant, and there was going to be a long wait before we could get a table. When the hostess told us about the wait, I groaned. “I hate waiting,” I said to my wife. It was hard to...
How to Make the Most of the Space Between

How to Make the Most of the Space Between

Between an impulse and a reaction, there is the space between. That space between is where the difference between success and failure often happens. The Pull to React Sometimes in my life, I blow past the space between and just react to my impulses. For example,...
Fear is a Friend Who’s Misunderstood

Fear is a Friend Who’s Misunderstood

I was listening to the radio the other day, and a John Mayer song came on. I was struck by one line in the song: fear is a friend who’s misunderstood. I don’t usually get huge psychological insights from John Mayer, but I thought this line was particularly deep. I...
What is the Function of Your Behavior?

What is the Function of Your Behavior?

Often when we’re trying to solve a problem in our lives, we focus on our behavior. At face value, this makes a lot of sense. Behavior is powerful and important. If we want something different to happen in our lives, we need to make concrete changes in our day-to-day...
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