by Joshua Hook | Feb 13, 2019 | Negotiation
Sometimes in my life, I shy away from negotiation. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like to make the other person feel bad. Sometimes I don’t even know what I want or what my position is. Here’s the problem: When I shy away from negotiation, I don’t get my...
by Joshua Hook | Jan 30, 2019 | Reaction
We all experience strong emotional reactions from time to time. Something happens in our daily life that triggers us. We feel something (e.g., sadness, anger, fear) and we might also experience a bodily sensation (e.g., face gets flushed, fists clench). We feel a rush...
by Joshua Hook | Jan 28, 2019 | Stress
I recently saw the movie Vice, which chronicles the political life of former Vice President Dick Cheney. What struck me the most about the film was Cheney’s ability to remain remarkably calm in the face of adversity. Heart Attack One scene stood out to me. Cheney is...
by Joshua Hook | Jan 25, 2019 | Failure
The fear of failure is powerful. If we don’t face this fear head-on, it can take our life off course. When I fail, I feel angry and sad. I start to doubt myself and my abilities. Because I don’t like to feel this way, I try to avoid failure. I focus on the...
by Joshua Hook | Jan 20, 2019 | Relationships
My wife and I had another couple over for dinner not too long ago, and we had a great time. It was someone I had met at church. I didn’t know them very well. But we had a good conversation at church, and I thought they might have “friend potential.” So, I reached out...
by Joshua Hook | Dec 30, 2018 | Positive
I have been realizing lately in my life that I say “No” more often than I say “Yes.” Fear and Protection I think my tendency to say no has a lot to do with fear. I want to protect myself. I want to stay safe. I don’t want to get hurt. Although...
by Joshua Hook | Dec 2, 2018 | Waiting
It’s hard to wait well. I was reminded of this the other day. My wife and I went to a restaurant, and there was going to be a long wait before we could get a table. When the hostess told us about the wait, I groaned. “I hate waiting,” I said to my wife. It was hard to...
by Joshua Hook | Nov 28, 2018 | Reaction
Between an impulse and a reaction, there is the space between. That space between is where the difference between success and failure often happens. The Pull to React Sometimes in my life, I blow past the space between and just react to my impulses. For example,...
by Joshua Hook | Aug 15, 2018 | Fear
I was listening to the radio the other day, and a John Mayer song came on. I was struck by one line in the song: fear is a friend who’s misunderstood. I don’t usually get huge psychological insights from John Mayer, but I thought this line was particularly deep. I...
by Joshua Hook | Jul 11, 2018 | Behavior
Often when we’re trying to solve a problem in our lives, we focus on our behavior. At face value, this makes a lot of sense. Behavior is powerful and important. If we want something different to happen in our lives, we need to make concrete changes in our day-to-day...
