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3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

Sometimes I get frustrated when my needs aren’t met in a relationship. “What’s wrong?” I ask myself. “Why doesn’t my partner understand what I need?” “If she really loved me, she would do [fill in the blank].” If you are anything like me, maybe you have struggled with...
Don’t Get Distracted by Technology

Don’t Get Distracted by Technology

Technology is amazing, isn’t it? I love my iPhone. In less than 10 minutes, I found directions, connected with a friend, checked out my Crossfit workout of the day, and bought a book on Amazon. I video chatted with a former professor who was living in South Africa via...
Do Your Best and Accept the Rest

Do Your Best and Accept the Rest

Sometimes I struggle with the tension between action and acceptance. On the one hand, I want to be disciplined and do the best I can in life. There are areas of my life I want to improve. If I want to reach my goals, it’s going to take purposeful, consistent effort....
Why Grace and Acceptance is Our Greatest Need

Why Grace and Acceptance is Our Greatest Need

A few years ago, I spent the Labor Day weekend in Holland, Michigan, connecting with some good friends from graduate school. Holland is a beautiful small town in Western Michigan. We caught up, ate great food, hiked the sand dunes, and swam in Lake Michigan. The...
8 Keys to Emotionally Healthy Faith

8 Keys to Emotionally Healthy Faith

I’m a big believer that you can’t have spiritual health without emotional health. Part of this conviction has to do with my background. I’m a Christian, and I’m also a psychologist. The way of Jesus is the key framework that orients my life and values. I also view...
How to Enjoy the Process AND the Outcome

How to Enjoy the Process AND the Outcome

In life, it is important to enjoy the process, not just focus on the outcome. This is something I struggle with a lot. At work, I’m often focused on outcome. “Let’s get this paper published ASAP!” “What’s your plan for defending your dissertation and graduating?”...
How to Navigate the “3-Lane” Highway of Life

How to Navigate the “3-Lane” Highway of Life

We have all heard the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Being able to differentiate between the things that are up to us and the things that...
Do We Get “3 Free Sins”?

Do We Get “3 Free Sins”?

I finished reading an interesting book called “3 Free Sins” by Steve Brown, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts about it. The basic idea of the book is that Christians are usually focused on “getting better.” We get obsessive about not...
5 Strategies to Accept Negative Things in Your Life

5 Strategies to Accept Negative Things in Your Life

In my life lately, I’ve been working on acceptance. In the past, I’ve resisted acceptance. Acceptance seemed weak, like I was okay with failure or not being the best I could be. But as I have grown older, I have realized I do have some limitations. There are certain...
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