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Forget the Golden Rule

Forget the Golden Rule

One of the first key principles we learn as children is the Golden Rule—do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But as I have gone through life, I have become more and more convinced that the Golden Rule is incomplete. Platinum Rule Instead, we should...
How NOT to Get Divorced While in Quarantine

How NOT to Get Divorced While in Quarantine

Living in quarantine due to the COVID-19 crisis can be tough on marriages and families. Some people are dealing with very high levels of stress and anxiety. We’re stuck in the house 24-7, so we don’t really get a break from our spouse and family. It makes sense that...
Do You Want Help or Feedback?

Do You Want Help or Feedback?

There’s a simple question I have started to ask people in my life, and it’s been very helpful for my relationships. Here’s the question: Do you want help or feedback? The Fixer In life, my tendency is to be a fixer. It’s just how I’m wired. When someone tells me about...
Always Be the One to Go First

Always Be the One to Go First

Tim Ferriss was talking with professional volleyball player Gabby Reece on his podcast, and she mentioned a principle she tries to live by in her daily life: Be the one to go first. What does she mean by this? If Gabby passes someone as she is walking, she will be the...
3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

3 Lessons from the Rule of 1/3

Sometimes I get frustrated when my needs aren’t met in a relationship. “What’s wrong?” I ask myself. “Why doesn’t my partner understand what I need?” “If she really loved me, she would do [fill in the blank].” If you are anything like me, maybe you have struggled with...
When in Doubt, Reach Out

When in Doubt, Reach Out

My wife and I had another couple over for dinner not too long ago, and we had a great time. It was someone I had met at church. I didn’t know them very well. But we had a good conversation at church, and I thought they might have “friend potential.” So, I reached out...
Soften for the Sake of the Relationship

Soften for the Sake of the Relationship

Couples have a difficult time dealing with disagreement and conflict. Think about your own relationship. What happens when you disagree about something? Are you able to listen to one another, empathize, understand the other person’s perspective, and work toward a...
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