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If You Want to Build Something, Resist Revenge

If You Want to Build Something, Resist Revenge

I’ve been watching the final season of Game of Thrones, and the last episode was crazy. Daenerys Targaryen, driven by revenge, destroys the entire city of King’s Landing with her fire-breathing dragon. Not just Cersei and her army, mind you, but women and children...
How to Forgive: Ask the Experts

How to Forgive: Ask the Experts

One thing I struggle with is how to forgive the people in my life who hurt me. I try to remember that we all make mistakes, but when someone I love does something that hurts me, I have trouble forgiving that person. I replay what happened in my mind, and I feel sad...
What is Self-Forgiveness?

What is Self-Forgiveness?

Self-forgiveness isn’t easy. You probably have had the experience of doing something you regret. Maybe you hurt someone you cared about. Maybe you fell short of the standards you set for yourself. Whatever happened, it might have been difficult for you to move on from...
Should We Forgive Racism?

Should We Forgive Racism?

We recently published a paper that explored forgiveness in the context of race-related offenses. I had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m a big believer in the power of forgiveness, even in the context of very serious offenses. Forgiving tends to improve...
Have a Short Memory

Have a Short Memory

I was visiting with some friends a few weeks ago who have small children. As we were finishing eating lunch one day, the kids were running around the house and playing. Everything was going swimmingly, until one of the children pushed the other one, who face-planted...
Hold on to Forgiveness

Hold on to Forgiveness

This post is Part 8 in an 8-part blog series on forgiveness. (If you missed the previous posts, you can find Part 1 here.) In Part 8, I want to talk to you about holding on to forgiveness. Here is a common scenario: You have worked through the steps and have made...
Commit to Forgiveness

Commit to Forgiveness

This post is Part 7 in an 8-part blog series on forgiveness. (If you missed the first post, you can find it here.) In Part 7, I want to talk to you about committing to forgiveness. We are getting near the end of this blog series, and if you have been working through...
Give an Altruistic Gift of Forgiveness

Give an Altruistic Gift of Forgiveness

This post is Part 6 in an 8-part blog series on forgiveness. (If you missed the first post, you can find it here.)   In Part 6, I want to talk to you about giving an altruistic gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift. It isn’t necessarily something the person who...
The Importance of Empathy

The Importance of Empathy

This post is Part 5 in an 8-part blog series on forgiveness. (If you missed the first post, you can find it here.)   In Part 5, I want to talk to you about empathizing with the person who hurt you. Usually when we get hurt, we tend to see things from our perspective...