My Thoughts and Articles
How to Move From Neurotic Misery to Normal Unhappiness
Freud once said that the goal of psychotherapy is to move from neurotic misery to normal unhappiness. I thought this was an interesting idea, and I’d like to unpack it a bit. Neurotic Misery Neurotic misery refers to problems that we cause ourselves because of our issues and hang-ups. For ...
Why It’s Actually a Good Thing if It’s Your Fault
I remember visiting some good friends who have young children. If I had a dollar for every time I heard one of the kids say "It's not my fault!" I probably could have paid for my entire trip. Struggling to Take Responsibility Children struggle to take responsibility for their lives. ...
How to Use Stress to Your Advantage
When you lift weights in the gym, you get stronger by applying stress to your muscles. You put your muscles under tension and strain, and the muscles actually break down a little bit. You don’t technically get stronger in the gym. You get stronger after the workout, as your muscles ...
7 Steps to Change Anything in Your Life
People come to counseling for a variety of reasons, but the one constant is that they usually want to change something in their lives. Something about their life is not how they want it to be, and they have an idea that it could be different somehow. If you think ...
When Dating, Make Sure You Connect on Several Things
Sometimes people ask me about dating, specifically about what they should look for in a potential partner. I always start with the acknowledgement that I struggled with dating for years and made lots of mistakes. It’s tough out there! Connect on Several Things But one thing I usually tell people ...
4 Tips for Sharing Powerful Stories
One of my favorite books is "Love Does" by Bob Goff. The book focuses on Bob's views on God and Christianity. There is a lot of great material in the book—I highly recommend it. The Power of Story One of the things I like most about the book is Bob’s ...